tears for them

I had a tiring day today. Right after class, I rushed for work and came back at almost 8 pm. I had my dinner then and I started on my drama marathon. Right now, hooked onto a Taiwanese drama called “Devil Beside Me”. A kinda cute drama (obviously you can’t expect a top notch performance by the cast since it’s after all an idol drama) that was based on a manga. I have yet to find out the title of the manga though.

Two days ago, my car was stuck in a night market at 5.30pm. It was a harrowing experience of driving the car out of the sea of people where it’s cramped both sides. I swear to god, I almost thought I’d never get out of there. Thank god I had my university mates with me at that time.

Yesterday was the partner meeting at Starbucks where Mohin and Lam gave their last speech in the partner meeting. Naturally when Lam decided to give his speech, all of us girls started crying and we knew Lam was also about to cry too but he held back. When the meeting ended, Mas went to the back and hugged Lam goodbye and she burst into uncontrollable tears which then caused Andrew and I to cry. Today, he wrote a message in our partner comm book and when I read it, I felt like crying again. As I’m writing this now, I feel the tears well up in my eyes. It’s easy for other people to tell me to accept this but when you have put so much emotion into the relationship with both of them; it’s harder done than said.

Today was the last day I ever worked with Lam. I’m gonna miss him madly although he pisses us off everyday but I will miss him so much. I will miss Mohin and Lam so much, there won’t be anyone singing “My Humps” anymore, no one torturing Meg so much we laugh together, no one dancing a stupid move because we did something well. All of these would be gone. All the fun moments, all gone. The atmosphere in the store would be different. It doesn’t help that I’m listening to Gackt’s “kimi ni aitakute” now which translates to “I want to see you again”. The tears wouldn’t stop. Mohin thought I was the strong one and when he saw me cry yesterday, I think it was the first time for him to see me apparently so weak. No one can ever be strong all the time.

Motto of the day: Tears, the hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.

vodka coke

A mug of Coca-Cola with Vodka Kurrant is placed on the table and I soon set my mind to work on this vocabulary “journal” the lecturer has set us to work on. She says to find a word at least a day that we don’t know the meaning of and to find the meaning in the dictionary and construct a sentence based on our personal experience so that we don’t like copy the sentences given as examples in the dictionary. Then I wonder, what if that day itself when we read, we do not find any words we do not know the meaning to? Does that mean we have to “come up” with a word we don’t know just for the sake of completing the journal? She said that if there are any missing days without a “word of the day”, we will not be getting the full 5% we deserve. Isn’t this a little impractical? The ironic thing is, so far there are 2 words that I found while watching a Japanese drama and the words were found in the subtitles. So, who says you don’t learn anything watching drama?

After gulping down the Vodka Coke, I’m left with nothing much to do now but wait for fatigue to take over me. My back is aching a little and I could feel my eyes are tired but I’m still up. Right now, I’m just relaxing to the instrumental version of one of the songs in My Name Is Kim Sam Soon OST.

Finally, Bleach has ended the first arc and I’m very excited to start on the next arc next week. Abarai Renji will be coming to the human world and god; I love his red hair and black tribal tattoos. One cool and funny dude. Oh, I also finally managed to watch episode 7 of Anego after waiting so long for the subtitles. What else? Gee, it seems as if my life is pretty boring and lifeless. Oh well, might as well enjoy it before the assignment/exam frenzy starts.

Motto of the day : When a guy breaks up with you, don't ask why. Just hit and run.

feeling sick..

*sneezes* damn, I feel sick. -.- I have been sneezing the whole day, my nose is partially blocked and I can’t taste my dinner. Bummer!

On a lighter note, I was smiling and giggling like a fangirl when my mail came in today. LEEHOM’S ALBUM IS FINALLY IN MY HANDS!! Muahahahaha…. See how perky I can get? It’s almost a crime but yeah, I’m listening to it now. In fact, I’m listening to “Heroes Of The World” by Wang Lee Hom featuring Jin (yes, Jin the Chinese rapper that made it big in USA). Kinda catchy and Kiss Goodbye is the best ballad in the album.

What else? Oh, sent him an email telling him how I felt and hopefully he’ll tell me how he’s been feeling because I think I ticked him off and he hasn’t been giving me any responses. This kinda thing bugs me and I need to know if he’s angry at me or not. I was driving in the car, listening to Gavin Degraw songs and I felt the overwhelming sensation of sadness and memories. I lost concentration for a split second but I told myself these kinda things shouldn’t be in my head.

“Kiss Goodbye” is playing now and I guess right now I’m in a sappy mood. I found out Lam and Mohin are leaving CLM and I feel sad, depressed and all that shit. If they leave, what’s going to happen to the store? They’re the reason why the place was fun and crazy and now that they’re leaving, where would the fun be? How many times does CLM need to undergo management turnover? It’s been about 9 months since we operated and I have seen the changes in the management team.

Opening team
Store Manager: Simon Bernard
Assistant Manager : Martin Thong
Supervisor : Hefni

After a few months,
Store Manager : Simon Bernard
Supervisor : Hefni
Lam
Andrew

After a few more months,
Store Manager : Mohindran
Supervisor : Lam
Andrew

And now, Mohin and Lam are leaving and according to Andrew, Martin is going to come back as Store Manager and my response to that is, “I DON’T WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!” and yes, they are in upper case because most of us do not like Martin Thong (nicknamed tong sampah). Curses to whoever that’s shifting them around. As if we are not attached to them or something. Bloody hell!

Motto of the day : Life is like Bonbon au chocolat

crap and more crap!

So, the new semester has started. It’s now back to university, shoving books up my face and studying my ass off for examinations what with this semester packed with 6 subjects. They certainly are pushing us real hard this semester with the 6 subjects, one of them being Literature (OMG!). Oh yeah, the July intake batch seems to be a pretty talented bunch and I get the feeling that they’re very … *searches for word in Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary* … confident. That’s the word! Damn, my brain has rested far too long.

These days I have been going on a diet. Hopefully for me it’s a low carb diet because there was one day where I only had 2 eggs in the morning, a cup of milo in the afternoon and it lasted me one whole day right till I took my dinner which consisted about half a bowl of rice. Today, I survived on two pieces of bread in the morning, a chocolate milkshake in the afternoon (and I became a lil greedy and had a Tall, single pump vanilla syrup, Caramel Macchiato to which I forgot to tell them low-fat milk so I drank full cream and felt a little sinful) and it lasted till dinner time. Su was at the cashier in Starbucks Midvalley and she asked me, “What happen to you? Thinner already!” I was like, “Erm, nothing happened. I didn’t feel it.” Esther has also told me that I was skinnier already. I don’t know how true it is because only 2 people said that to me but I do hope that meant the fat in my face is finally in the process of being shed off.

Don’t worry, I’m not anorexic. It’s just that I have come to realize that all this while, I have been eating because I’m obliged to eat as in it’s the time to eat and not because I was hungry. Do you know what I mean? It’s like “it’s one o’clock, oooh.. It’s lunchtime, I should eat!” and not because, “damn, I’m hungry. I should eat!” This has become the reason I put on weight unconsciously and also the gluttony of eating just because it smells nice. Right now, I’m just sticking to the rules of “eating only when I feel hungry”. I don’t know how heavy I am now because it seems that the weighing machine has been banned from my house. I hope to lose about 5 kg and hopefully by then, my face would be slightly thinner like in secondary school. I was a little bit insulted when people commented on my chubby cheeks and I guess maybe that was the reason why I stuck to this “diet”. I did try this diet last time but my willpower was not great enough but now, I believe my willpower is better.

That day when I went out with Wei Siang to Midvalley (after failing to meet up with Lina) for lunch at Kenny Roger’s, I was surprised to find myself ordering Caesar Salad instead of a quarter meal or something. It kept me full until the next day so technically, that day I only had one meal. By six p.m. he was already hungry so we headed to Wong Kok, Leisure Mall where he had Iced Tea in HongKong style and Peanut Butter and Ice Cream Thick Toast while I had a cup of hot chocolate. He offered me some but I didn’t feel hungry. It was sinful indulgence for me, what with the little whipped cream adorning the ice cream. After that, Starbucks was next on our list and we shared a Venti, double shot, Caramel Affogato. Basically, that day was mostly liquid for me and I didn’t get hungry at all, in fact I felt pretty full. Maybe because it was all chocolate and cream based and stuff.

Insomnia has settled in lately, sometimes I didn’t get any sleep because I was aware of the surroundings. It became like a 3 hour nap instead and then I was up. It’s like after the New Year outing with him, I reached home at almost 4am but managed to stay up all the way up to 6 am because I was reading Dan Brown’s “Deception Point”. I wonder why is it that I get insomnia these days. I wonder what’s causing this.

Motto of the day: what does not go to waste, goes to waist!

start of a brand new year!

Nice start to a brand new year. I spent the night and early morning with Wei Siang on New Year’s eve. I was surprised to see him at Starbucks the other day after like 8 years of not seeing him. He called my full name and I looked at him blankly, taking a few seconds to register the somewhat familiar face in front of me before finally saying out his name. After this encounter, we seem to be sharing a fair peace of time together, watching movie and him trying to coax me to go out for drinking tea session and all. After my constant denial, he was still amused when I was sniffing while watching King Kong with him although I swear to god I wasn’t crying, it’s just that it was cold in there and I had to clear my nose. No, seriously… I wasn’t crying.

He had changed and I am pretty impressed at where he is now in life. I mean, not many people can achieve what he achieved at such a young age. He’s got a nice sense of style too. Then again, he’s far too thin. He needs to build up a little. So, we went to 1 Utama for New Year’s Eve to catch a movie and just as we walked out of the cinema, we were just in time to see the fireworks go up right at the carpark. The place where they lit the fireworks was about a few metres away, maybe 100 meters away? I don’t know. It was pretty impressive, the fireworks I meant. After that, we got caught a little in the jam and then headed to Mont Kiara for some Starbucks coffee. He always orders the same thing, Green Tea Frappuccino. Seems that he likes drinking grass and according to him, he’s like a cow (born in the year of the ox) so he likes drinking grass. *winces* I hate Green Tea Frappucino. So yeah, reached home at almost 4 am but it was enjoyable, spending time with him and just catching up on old times.

So, here’s to a good start in the year 2006. May it be a better year for me and for everyone else. Somehow, I feel this year is gonna be an okay year for me. I’ve got my head and mind cleared of all the problems plaguing me in 2005 and hopefully I’ll grow to learn more about life and be stronger than ever. I wish you guys would be healthy, happy and above all succeed in the things that you do. Best of luck! Motto of the day is pretty familiar stuff to me and I smirked remembering the word Karma.

Motto of the day : do not do unto others what you do not wish others to do unto you. It’s Karma.