I HATE BEING BROKE!

After so long, now I remember how it feels like to be truly broke. There are people owing me money but how do I open my mouth and ask them? I find that very hard to do and I pray that they remember they owe me money. Right now, I don’t even have enough money to top up the credit of my phone. The last I checked, my credit balance is lo behold, ONE CENT! I’m never left with one cent in the years I’ve had a phone so tell me how pathetic my financial situation is. Sure, everyone tells me that I’ve still got the loan and all but do you seriously think I’ll go and touch the money there whenever I like? It’s not like the money is given to me free. I plan to use that money only to buy books and for the language courses I’m due to take soon. Other than that, it should stay as untouched as possible. My other account is as pathetic with minimal balance because why? Starbucks can’t fucking give me the hours I want. Apparently, Microsoft Word thinks I should substitute “fucking” with “fuck” because it’s either grammatically incorrect or the word “fucking” doesn’t exist. *shrug*

This is why I hate being the person to buy an expensive present with my money first and then later collect it from others because I don’t know how to open my mouth to ask for the money they owe me. This is also why I hate being able to help friends out of their financial situation and then to wait for them to either remember or save up enough to pay back and that is IF they remember.

Oh, X-Men 3 SUCKS! Brett Ratner (or however you spell it) should burn in hell for ruining the trilogy with a shitty last installment. This is what happens when you give such an amazing franchise to a director who is not even an X-Men fan.

Bad week/month this is –with the exception of the Redang trip – with my financial constraints and all the shitty nicknames people put on MSN declaring their love in public that makes me wanna vomit all over the place and just strangle the shit out of them. I’m in a spiteful mood.

Ichi Ritoru no Namida

I have finally finished watching One Litre of Tears (Ichi Ritoru no Namida) and each episode I watch, I cry. I’m not sure if I’ve cried one litre of tears but I did cry. To all that’s looking for a story that’s both inspiring and touching, do watch this Japanese drama. My heart aches to think that some people spend their youth bed-ridden because of an incurable disease and just when others are at their prime age of 25, they have passed away. While crying one litre of tears, their stories have encouraged and touched the hearts of so many. This drama gets me depressed and makes me think that we are all so lucky to be able to do the things we often take for granted like walking, running and walking hand in hand with your loved one. We often take for granted the days we spend being alive and healthy. Health to some is a luxury they cannot afford.

Motto of the day : Live on forever.

REDANG!

A holiday with a bunch of good and fun friends before the new term starts is what I need before another 14 weeks of grueling torture. I had tons of fun there, needless to say Meng Ho and Ti Pui who shared a room with Fei Kee and I made us laugh with their stupid antics. Although we were at the beach but sadly there were no guys there with a nice body except the employees of the resort we were at. They were seriously like dark chocolate brown and their bodies, FUH! It’s flat and there’s abs man!!! It’s really ironic how these people smoke like chimney (Smore smoked in the sea while guiding a few people on a float with one hand holding onto the float and another with a cig above water) and yet their stamina to swim so far without any equipment (life jacket, fins, etc.) is so great. Their bodies are really nice to ogle at since they wear their shorts quite low and there’s the hint of pelvis which I have a weak spot for. so the sight of pelvis coupled with their solid hard body is heavenly but then again, they’re all pretty small in size.

Well, wait till I get my hands on my cable/card reader and I’ll upload some pictures. Smore opened a bottle of Vodka for me (FOC) because we knew each other the previous time I went there with my brother. I had to remind him about me and when he remembered, he was happy to see me again. So yeah, that two nights over there were drinking sessions. First night was Bacardi and we had to drink it as a penalty of the game we played which was kinda stupid and is more fun the more you drink because then you’ll be a bit tipsy and your coordination are all out of order. Second night was the night Smore finally remembered me and that was Vodka night. He said I had to finish the whole bottle and asked me to invite my other friends to join too. Ti Pui wanted me to finish my glass of half-half (Vodka and Sprite) in one gulp with another guy. Well, I didn’t get drunk, just a little bit high considering how much I drank and such. After that was a free glass of Tonic Gin from Smore which tasted real nice, like there’s lime in the drink. I also got a taste of how Long Island taste like (which was a combination of vodka, gin, rum, tequila, with Coke and a slice of lime). Tasted nice, something different from the usual drinks I take.

Redang was full of sunshine there and I got the tan that I wanted, YES!! However, I have to bear with the nickname, Ms Lobster Nose as given by Dr Carmen for sunburnt people. I love the colour of my skin now, the colour of caramel and like I told Andrew when I went for work, since the coffee of the day (COD) is Viennese Blend which is ‘lively, caramelly finish’ thus I had to be caramelly finished too. He said I look toasted.

So yeah, tomorrow school starts and I don’t want to go back so soon seeing that the co-called “temporary” timetable is like shit with classes up to 6.30pm which will clash with my language classes should I choose to take them. Damn, I do hope they amend it since Friday I reportedly only have one class and it starts in the god damn afternoon. Well, hopefully the amended timetable is better than this current shit.

What else is there to say? I finished 3 out of 4 books Dr Carmen lent to me. I have one more to start and I’m currently reading The Devil Wears Prada. These days the rate I’m reading books is painfully slow. I used to be able to read like about a hundred pages in one sitting. Nowadays, I can’t seem to sit still to finish the book. Right now I’m really into Kangta & Vanness, the latest duo that’s rocking Korea and Asia. I love their single ‘Scandal’. Scandal is a really groovy song that makes you want to get on your feet and just dance. In fact, I’m listening to it now and my body just automatically moves to the music. I’m hoping they’ll continue this collaboration of theirs (although it does seem a little weird) but I don’t mind if their songs are this good. Here’s the cover picture.

another somewhat depressing and common poem i would write?

I sat in solitude,
Settling my inner feud,
Battling my desire,
Is there love for hire?

I toss and turn in bed,
I feel trapped behind a gate,
I have waited to be free,
I beg you to set me free.

You have the key to my heart,
Yet we are so far apart,
Where are you now my prince?
As I think of you I wince.

You are my faceless prince,
How long has it been since?
When did all of this start?
When did you conquer my heart?

Those tears I cried at night,
I thought I had lost the fight,
Did you even know then?
Did you feel sorry then?

As I touch those lonely tears,
I am overwhelmed by fears,
Fears of being deserted,
Fears of being discarded.

Why have you stayed far away?
I would love you come what may,
I love every bit of you,
Just as fresh as morning dew.

With a love that runs deep,
All I can do is weep,
You promised forever,
An empty endeavor.