dedicated to Walter

Okay, I told him I’m sorry but it seems he's not taking my apology. Maybe he needs some time to cool down his anger? I don't know. Walter, it's been 5 friggin years... The things we've been through, the ups and downs, it's the most I’ve been through with any friend. I thought I might have understood you after all these years, I could be wrong. I thought you might have understood me after all these years too but then again, I could be wrong.

Walter, I’m sorry you had to feel the bitterness I felt. I’m sorry that the wrath not intended for you was felt by you. I’m sorry for everything. I’m willing to patch things up with you, are you willing to do the same or am I the only person who’s trying to patch up something that’s not going to work? You once asked me if you’re important to me and yes, you are important to me. As a friend that has stood by me through thick and thin, through laughter and tears. You’re as important to me as Lina is as important to me. You’re as important to me as Madeleine is as important to me.

I’ve come to a point in life when I begin to love the friends I have. I really love them. Like how I love Hefni, like how I love Lina, like how I love Madeleine. I really love them all. And the same goes to you; I love you as a friend that has been with me for 5 years. It’s half a decade; it’s not a short period. We have a deep friendship that is rare among friends, so deep that it becomes special in some way. Not romantically but special nonetheless.

I know I’ve been an ass. The words I’ve said, the things I’ve done. If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have said all the things that will hurt you, do the things that will bring pain to you. But, things said and done all I can ever say is I’m sorry. Are you not going to forgive me? Are you going to discard this old friend you have? What else can I say but apologise for the foolish mistakes I made? A friend taught me to forget everything and salvage this special friendship I have with you. Here I am, apologising and I get no response. I feel as if you’re really angry at me, that you do not want to bother about me anymore. As if our friendship is finito, the end. Is that what you wanted? Or are you too content in your little world to bother about the other people around you? Maybe so… maybe we’re no longer important to you.

I probably understand now how u felt when ah boy got together with EC but I’m trying to be understanding. I will not push you further. I just want you to know that I’m sorry. Walter, I’m sorry.