what the hell is wrong?

People think I’m selfish, selfish for not letting him go. Is asking some concern the same as asking him to still treat me as a gf? I’m happy he finally found someone else. I just want the feelings when we were still friends at that time, the same carefree happy feelings. Is that the same as asking him to treat me as a gf? I think not.

Some people tend to misunderstand my actions yet I do not ask them to understand me because like I’ve said countless times, who would understand me and who would understand how I really feel? All you guys ever saw was what is on the surface but how many of you know what’s happening within?

I am also tired of being known as the bitch that doesn’t wanna let go. I’m tired of being known as the bitch that’s holding him back and not giving him what he wants. I’m tired of people thinking of me that way. Do you think I do not know the times he were with me, all I’ve ever given him was pain and misery? Do you think I do not know that every time he was with me he was miserable? Do you think I do not want him to be happy?

Put yourself in my shoes before saying something. Think of how you would feel in your shoes. Do not think that he’s the only one who has invested effort in the relationship I had once with him. I have made efforts to keep the friendship going on after what seems like countless problems. Do you think I take this relationship lightly?

What is wrong with me wanting to have times like the old days where we are just plain carefree? Do friends not care about their friends anymore the moment they find someone else? Is that concern only able to be given by a lover? I think not. So tell me, what is wrong with me wanting to have a nice carefree friendship with him? Or tell me, what the hell is wrong with you guys?