why?

Why do we always make hasty decisions? Why do we decide hastily when we know hasty decisions always go bad? When is it considered too fast and when is it considered as just right? I’ve made some hasty decisions myself and one was on a relationship. Did I regret it? I don’t know, I’m numb when it comes to relationships.

He was my senior of 3 years. We finally met online after a brief encounter in school. We got talking and all of a sudden he just said he likes me and I was wondering if he really knows who I am in school. He said he does and asked me if I wanted to be his gf. I thought for a while and said why not? That was just hasty and the relationship ended in about less than a month. Was I devastated? Was I heartbroken? I can answer confidently that I was not devastated and not heartbroken. Why?

It’s probably because we didn’t spend much time getting to know each other. We sort of like jumped on the bandwagon without really understanding each other and it was just like that we were considered “bf-gf”. Heck, we didn’t even meet each other in that period of time so what kind of “bf-gf” relationship am I having right? So I guess when the relationship ended, I didn’t feel anything. Call me cold, call me emotionless but I really didn’t feel anything. It was as if there was no commitment involved, no love. It was a name, a status we peg to ourselves.

If relationships were to be like that, just a status, then we would never feel the real wonders of love. Love can change a person, for the better or for the worst. It could be a good change for the lovers but for the outsiders it could be bad. Love between two sexes is usually confined to their own spaces, own time and own world. Other people would probably think it’s an eyesore but living in a world where it is quite liberal, there is nothing wrong in a couple professing their love for one another.

I got to say that I have no respect for girls who are spoilt brats. Girls who whine when things don’t go their way, girls who don’t respect their boyfriends better stay away from me because they won’t have one ounce of respect from me. I can’t stand girlfriends who don’t give their boyfriends space to breathe. If a person ever said, “I can’t live without you.” I think of how they cope with their lives before their other half appeared. They still lived.

I may be a feminist, I don’t know but I really think without a boyfriend doesn’t make me less alive or less human. I am still who I am with or without the special half. If I were to ever find a special person, I would have him be able to mix around with my friends and respect me as I would respect him. What’s the use of only one person respecting the other in a relationship? This is cliché but relationship works both ways. I also think that there is no use being in a relationship when you don’t feel comfortable in it. Why do you have to torture yourself and be in a relationship that only brings pain and sorrow to you and your partner?

It’s also true that couples should always sit and solve the problems they face instead of running away by breaking up but what happens when the problem cannot be solved? What will happen then? Will they maybe just ignore the problem and try to continue their relationship? Will they break up and hope that by doing that the problem will disappear? Sometimes these things don’t just disappear because a couple is no longer together. Some things remain the same and when it refuses to go away, would the couple ever regret their decision to break up?

There is always a point in life when you think you have regretted doing something. Yet, we can always avoid doing something that will make us regret later just by thinking carefully and sorting out our priorities. If that is the case, why is that we do not sit and think and save all the trouble? Is it because there is a risk involved and it makes it more exciting to just go ahead with it and just see if it works in future? Does that make us adventurous or does that make us plain stupid?

Being in a relationship affects not only the lovers but the people around them. It is always nice to see your friends pair up and be couples. It’s always easier when this happens in a group of friends because you know each other and you’re comfortable in their presence. Some may smile and rejoice with the lovers over their newfound status. Some may think otherwise but I wonder what really goes on in the minds of the lovers. Do they care what people think of their relationship? Will people hate them for their actions? I don’t know the answer to that. Do you?