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"Love is one pleasure and a thousand sufferings"

well, i have decided to end both our sufferings. it might not be what he wants or agreed but i've decided to end it. why put us in a difficult situation that never seems to be solved or out in the open?

i gotta say i'm sorry for the previous post which has caused grievous hurt to him. in a state of confusion, i vented out my anger not knowing the "real" meaning behind his actions. then, i received his letter and after reading it, all of a sudden i felt real selfish. "so this is how he felt when being with me.." was what i thought. it's been 7 years yet no affirmative answer from me. it's a burden and a suffering he carried around for 7 years. sure there were lapses where he liked other girls but still, it's been 7 years. he would've been tired to the bone.

he took it out and gave it to me so that it won't remind him of me anymore. now it's hanging around my neck and every sound it makes reminds me of him. if this is one of the burdens i can help him carry, so be it. if it makes him less miserable, then i'd rather take it all. he's been through so much, the least i can do is lessen his burden which i hope i am not making it worst.

to everyone who has supported both of us, no matter which side you're on i hope that you can spare us both the questions of how and why and when but just be silent and comfort us both in times of need. thank you from the depths of my heart to you, Walter. thank you for all you've done, all you've sacrificed.